School Culture Analyst Gifts

''...he's a devious, arrogant, blustering bully who should do very well.''

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Now I really hate poetry."

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

"'Grim Reapers' was considered too offensive, these days we're known as 'afterlife facilitators.'"

'We used to be a patriarchy, but lately we've been more goddess-centric.'

"Don't tell me you're not hungover, it's nine a.m. and you just clocked out."

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

'Robert.....Why do you think they call slanted letters italics.'

'We'll never understand these kids. It's the old evolution gap.'

'Lets see now, Henderson, you've not shown any initiative because nobody asked you to.'

"We try to treat volunteers like regular members of staff, impossible workloads and no resources."

Culture, Media and Sport Podium.

"I'm sorry but we do not promote just for participation."

Desk bins: Pretend it's not here, Hope it goes away, Delegate it.

Mount Rushmore entertainment.

"I need you to look at the big picture, Boswell. Not the little one of my trophy wife."

"I like your attitude, Peterson!"

Henry couldn't help but have doubts about the future of the company.

'It's not if you win or lose, it's how you place the blame.'

Britain sinking and losing it's identity.

Rude Americans.

"That was classic me."

"Nan and Gordon are from California, but Northern California."

'Due to the recent 'fire' incident, you'll no longer be carrying the torch for this company.'

"Threatened the prosperity of the free world lately?"

'Apparently many companies experience problems including: a lack of direction, poor accountability, lack of respect among members, pushing personal agendas, poor communication ...'

"So. . . who'd like to have a go at defining Britishness?"

"The last good idea my boss had was mine!"

'I see you're still copying from other people's papers, Billy.'

"We expect strong performance but not strong opinions."

'Sir! Elsworth's away from his desk again!'

Culturally significant problems solved.

'Sorry, I don't have anything smaller.'