School Culture Analyst Gifts

''...he's a devious, arrogant, blustering bully who should do very well.''

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Now I really hate poetry."

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

"'Grim Reapers' was considered too offensive, these days we're known as 'afterlife facilitators.'"

'We used to be a patriarchy, but lately we've been more goddess-centric.'

"Don't tell me you're not hungover, it's nine a.m. and you just clocked out."

'Robert.....Why do you think they call slanted letters italics.'

'We'll never understand these kids. It's the old evolution gap.'

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

'Lets see now, Henderson, you've not shown any initiative because nobody asked you to.'

"I'm sorry but we do not promote just for participation."

Mount Rushmore entertainment.

Culture, Media and Sport Podium.

"We try to treat volunteers like regular members of staff, impossible workloads and no resources."

Desk bins: Pretend it's not here, Hope it goes away, Delegate it.

"I need you to look at the big picture, Boswell. Not the little one of my trophy wife."

"We're trying to create a caring, supportive environment. For money though, not people."

Henry couldn't help but have doubts about the future of the company.

'It's not if you win or lose, it's how you place the blame.'

Rude Americans.

"That was classic me."

Britain sinking and losing it's identity.

"I like your attitude, Peterson!"

"Nan and Gordon are from California, but Northern California."

'Due to the recent 'fire' incident, you'll no longer be carrying the torch for this company.'

"Threatened the prosperity of the free world lately?"

'Apparently many companies experience problems including: a lack of direction, poor accountability, lack of respect among members, pushing personal agendas, poor communication ...'

"So. . . who'd like to have a go at defining Britishness?"

'I see you're still copying from other people's papers, Billy.'

"The last good idea my boss had was mine!"

"We expect strong performance but not strong opinions."

I feel like I'm starting to hate everyone, doc. Dr. Noodle. I hate the stranger who shook his head in disgust at me when he saw I was in an interracial relationship. I hate the lady who cut me off in traffic and almost ran me off the road this morning. I hate the dentist who convinced me I needed a $350 mouth guard when I could've bought one just as good for $25 at Target. I hate the girl scout who sold me six disgusting boxes of ten-year-old Samoa cookies. That's ... ten? I hate myself for not

Culturally significant problems solved.

'Sir! Elsworth's away from his desk again!'