Youth Culture Analyst Gifts

"They can recognize eight different pings from their apps, but they can't hear me when i ask them eight times to set the table."

Me at 15/Me at 29

'It's not fair! I'm socially excluded from gang culture.'

'We'll never understand these kids. It's the old evolution gap.'

"Now I really hate poetry."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

'Rehab centre' "I'm addicted to Irvine Welsh"

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

The Mating Call of the Modern Youth

"'Grim Reapers' was considered too offensive, these days we're known as 'afterlife facilitators.'"

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

Non-Uniform Day Today.

'Robert.....Why do you think they call slanted letters italics.'

'I got tattoos to make a statement, but my teacher said I could do the same thing by joining the debating team.'

"Soy latte for 'Actually Frankenstein is the doctor I don’t have a name.'"

"I found an old photo of us, when we were punk rockers... Didn't we look ridiculous?"

"He's Right Behind Me, Isn't He?"

"I didn't mean anything by it. I don't know why I said it. I just said it, that's all. Twiggy."

Mount Rushmore entertainment.

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

Sissy Spacek

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

Culture, Media and Sport Podium.

"Fine. It's just that it'll take me longer to walk there in my skinny jeans."

Over-reaction Man.

Rude Americans.

Ladmag - Caution, immature content.

"Threatened the prosperity of the free world lately?"

"Nan and Gordon are from California, but Northern California."

"It must be a youth culture!" (Lager, boobs, lager, babes,footie, girls,lager.)

"The doctor said I've got 'texter's slump'."

The Evolution of Pop Culture Scapegoats

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'

"So. . . who'd like to have a go at defining Britishness?"

"Your dad’s right — this is way better than watching TV."