School Challenges Exclaimer Gifts

'Spelling, math, history, geography --now the stupid school wants me to take a polygraph test!'

Ethics exam cheater.

What do MD and PHD mean? It means the doctor owes a lot of money in student loans.

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

'I have answers to the kind of questions no one likes to ask.'

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

"If your dad is truly the King of the Jungle, why can't you ask him to abolish school?"

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

"Guess what. School is presented without commercial interruption."

'You're FLUNKING me? - Doesn't SENIORITY count for anything around here?'

'Well if you're sick of seeing me here, and I'm sick of coming in here,let's call a truce!'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

'Who should be contacted in case of an accident? Why, 911, of course. And these people are going to be teaching my children.'

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

"When I said my teacher had no class I meant class was canceled."

"Every sixth grade substitute is offered an optional cyanide pill."

"Personally, this child would love to be 'left behind.'"

"What's the point of school? We can just look all this stuff up on wikipedia."

"Maybe school's a good thing... I mean...where else do hundreds of people with similar backgrounds come together under one roof...all following a daily routine...with guidance and supervision to better themselves and society? Ya know...besides prison?"

'Can I go home now, before I get overeducated?'

Cash For Places - Penbroke College

'Teacher says I don't pay attention, I have no retention but I'm great at detention.'

"There's also a link to my manifesto in the notes section—www.freewilioz.org, articles four and five, respectively."

Remembering the words of his 8th grade Algebra teacher, Moose bought his old middle school and made a mockery out of it.

'It's the new guidance counselor. He's lost.'

'What part of school don't you understand?', 'The part between the bells ringing.'

"It's true that I'm overdrawn but the bribes for improving coursework marks are coming in now!"

'They're not the exam results, headmaster. They're the truancy figures.'

"Unruly, talking back, lack of respect...and that's just the parents."