School Commentary Seekers Gifts

Violence in schools has increased

'Simpson! Stop causing low-level disruption in class now!'

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

What do MD and PHD mean? It means the doctor owes a lot of money in student loans.

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

'I have answers to the kind of questions no one likes to ask.'

"What can I say? Second grade just hasn't lived up to the hype."

"Tell me, Frankie, what time is it?"

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

"Guess what. School is presented without commercial interruption."

'The first person to learn anything leaves immediately!'

"If what you don't know can't hurt you, I'm safe from math, English, history, and science."

"First period music always leaves me with a tune stuck in my head for the rest of the day."

"I'm holding George back this year because he's failed to forge a personal style."

"When I said my teacher had no class I meant class was canceled."

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

"Every sixth grade substitute is offered an optional cyanide pill."

'Can I go home now, before I get overeducated?'

"Maybe school's a good thing... I mean...where else do hundreds of people with similar backgrounds come together under one roof...all following a daily routine...with guidance and supervision to better themselves and society? Ya know...besides prison?"

'If it makes you feel any better, I gave the kid you copied from the same grade.'

Cleaner in front of interview panel - 'So what makes you want to apply for the job of Equity Fund Manager?'

'Don't I even get to enter a plea?'

"I won't do the 'What I did on my summer vacation' assignment. I consider it a privacy issue."

'Teacher says I don't pay attention, I have no retention but I'm great at detention.'

"I don't want your teacher to think a kid with grades this bad....could possibly have a father who could read or write."

"You like woodwork class then, son?"

Those Who Get Off On Not Social Distancing: 87% Celebrities On ZOOM: 83%. "We're All In This Together": 82%

'...All I can say is, the judge was adamant about his gag order on the case.'

'It's the new guidance counselor. He's lost.'

'They're not the exam results, headmaster. They're the truancy figures.'

"Unruly, talking back, lack of respect...and that's just the parents."

'I don't think it was a very productive year for Ms. Read. We learned to use all twenty six letters, and she only learned to use the 'C'.'

"Before I begin, everyone must sign a non-disclosure agreement."