School Debaters Gifts

'If the school can send in substitute teachers, how come we can't send in substitute students?'

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

Changing Minds

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

"Your rule about no yelling out in class...that's a violation of my 1st Amendment rights!"

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

Verbal Orders

A bunch of global warming skeptics want to join eco club. It's a school organization. You have to let them in. But they just want to harass us with selective facts! Today: Eco club. So? Debate is good. You have :An Inconvenient Truth" to counter their arguments. Oh. Great. Now we'll have to read it.

Abortion Rights Are Doomed Now and It's Largely the Democrats' Fault

95 Theses That Will Blow Your Mind!

Liberals' Wishful Thinking about Joe Biden

I will not chew gum in class, even sugarless....

iDeasy

'I looked, and the Ten Commandments don't say ANYTHING about running with scissors!'

'We never should have brought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious and arbitrary.'

'Don't I even get to enter a plea?'

Wisconsin's War on Unions!

Mud Slinging

Mind Narrows road sign.

"Are you sure this is in your job description?"

'I'm Timmy Jones of the 'Young Republicans'. I'm collecting to run for president in 2028, and my goal is to be another Ronald Regan!'

"If everyone is gonna get a universal basic income, what is the point of getting good grades?"

Useful Degrees:"Bachelor of Waitressing

A headmaster in the stocks covered in rotten eggs.

'If kids have to be raised properly, does that hurt?'

If it weren't for successful H.S. dropouts, who'd hire the college graduate.

'No Billy! I am not ready to see you yet!'

Education Act of 1870 - Quarrelling

Three juniors want to join our eco club. Good recruiting! No way I'm letting them in! What?! Be we need new members! Not necessarily! Gore lies. Global warming is hot air! I (heart) fur.

"Before I say anything, I'd like to have my friend, who wants to be a lawyer when he grows up, present"

'Billy, I'm not going to argue the semantics of biting. Whether or not you penetrated skin, I'm calling your mother.'

"You're definitely descended from the apes. I'm descended from Adam and Eve."

"I think we should leave Europe then retake it by force."

"In my day, if you colluded with anyone, Dad went for his belt."