School Assembly Evaders Gifts

Having a child who had missed three assemblies wasn't enough to win the respect of the hardmen of prison block 'D'.

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

"Bad dog."

Thinks he's too cool for school.

'What are the other nonconformists wearing this year?'

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

Anger Management - Now Treating "Electoral College Rage"

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

"Well, if the test is multiple choice I choose not to take it."

"Do I get to lawyer up before I see the Principal?"

'At least you won't have to worry about the rising costs of a college education.'

'My philosophy is to sit down and the hell with being counted.'

'You got everyfink Bruv? Stink bombs, pea shooter, dead frogs . . .'

Cunning as a Fox hey? Well, I saw you cheating Mister! D-Minus!

"Prayer does work! I wasn't picked for any of the church committees."

"So...what did you learn in school today, Baldo?"

'Yes, I'm home early. We had a school fire drill, so naturally I sought the safety of our house.'

"Grandma, this is now how some schools say obey the rules."

'A Mr Ritzwell to see you, sir. Are you in, or are you using the escape tunnel?'

'Sorry, I can't talk now, Mr. Harris, I'm texting right now! I'll take whatever punishment you want to give me.'

"It's a note from Eddie's teacher. It seems he's stretched his imagination past the end of her rope."

'We should try harder to behave. We're wearing a rut in this floor.'

Abandon claculators all ye who enter here.

"Timmy, no matter your clothing or counting, school is not prison."

'No matter how much historical research was done, Roger, students who lead juntas have to be disciplined.'

Last day of school.

"Sorry I'm late, but I was somewhere else."

'It's great to be a ventriloquist. I find that I can still talk in class, but I don't get in trouble.'

Spring Painter

"If that's for me, tell them I'm in a meeting."

"I have a prescription for my test anxiety."

"As you leave this year behind, remember you did your best to soar with eagles, to be the best you can be, best of luck, my honorable students."

'Watch out for her. She lets you do all the talking.'