School Application Strategist Gifts

"I'm afraid you could do better work in order to get your daughter into this school."

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

'Can I hand in my report tomorrow. Ms. D'Amato? I haven't finished reading the book. I've been too busy coloring it.'

'It wouldn't be right if I did your homework for you!' 'At least you could try!'

"We were running late, so my mom faxed me to school."

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

'That's the bell for round two.'

'You're being evacuated to a better catchment area.'

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

2000 words was tough, but doable. Billy would play the picture paints a 1000 words card, twice!

'I don't have a dog, but I do have a dog app that eats my homework.'

"I try to get a head start on them."

"Being from another planet is worth thirty points towards your child's admission to Harvard."

"Homework is work, and work without breaks is a federal offense that can be reported to the labor board."

'So, you see, Dad, if we compare our overall school performance, I'm actually doing better than you did at my age.'

'Be advised the information herein may not be current and is subject to change. Past performance is not necessarily indicative of future results.'

Principal with 'budget cuts' in-tray and 'creative solutions' out-tray.

'Take this back to the committee. Since this is a school I would like the mission statement to mention education.'

'Obviously, the school board is giving an unfair advantage to gifted students.'

"If you need help with your homework ask your father...and he'll ask me."

Boho Bribes

'...and, if I don't get a place, I'll kill myself.'

'Your opinions are a rephrasing of my opinions. I like that in a subordinate.'

'Her special Talent is sulking.'

"Before I say anything, I'd like to have my friend, who wants to be a lawyer when he grows up, present"

"Does school choice include whether he gets a tenured teacher?"

"He's cleaning his room because he needs some fungi and mold for his biology class."

"You don't have to eat it. Just lick off the writing."

"Baldo, you never seem to be in a hurry to finish to do your homework."

"I need a pony for a school project. Share and tell."

'Angry parents on lines 1,2,3,4 and 5.'