Scholastic Surprise Gifts

"Miss Lopez said she wanted the best student in class to stand up and read their English essay. Then she asked me to do it!"

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

'He's not as studious as he looks - his backpack is full of comic books.'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

'I really crammed last night.'

"Surprise!"

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

'Yeah, yeah, very cute... she couldn't have just sent me an e-card?'

'Are we there yet, I love surprises.'

Sweet surprise.

Teacher: 'As an adult you'll probably only use a quarter of what you're taught at school - which brings us to fractions.'

Vegetarian Birthdays.

"I guess one of the bunnies was a boy after all!"

"I'm thinking that now is a good time to start those tutoring sessions."

'I gotta bad feeling about this.'

A kid is about to be grabbed by an oversized claw.

Frankenstein's Monster receiving birthday present.

"It's all show-as soon as Marks gone he switches off the football and reads Proust..."

"It's the Chef Surprise."

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

Gates A-C: Johnson, Davis, Potts, surprise me!

Surprise Party

'Het Dad, I don't need a bike from Santa anymore. I just found one behind your wardrobe!'

"You know that on-line romance you've been carryin' on? Well this here's Samantha!"

"It's a student you taught 20 years ago asking if you'd loan him bail money!"

"Pssst....want three wishes to run up the flagpole?"

'You've got me a puppy for Christmas, haven't you?'

Jack-in-the-box reads 'It's almost March again!'

'My Goodness! All these years George and I never guessed you were a superhero.'

Jill was thrilled to receive a gift from Interflora, the romantic margarine delivery service.

Snowman in the Freezer.

Awkward Moments

The disgusting, embarrassing sound of a whoopie cushion...