Scholarly Lifter Gifts

"Actually I'm doing this to stand out more in the scholarly community."

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

DumbbellsSmartbells.

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

Important Muscles.

'You mean that I have to carry them to my car?'

Painting the portrait of a weight lifter.

Library: The Weight lifting Section.

"Negative net force puts object in motion. Positive net force will be applied when Digby apologizes for eating my yoghurt."

'You can never be too fit or too tenured.'

'It's me, Santa... I've had work done.'

'Which program would you like - the use it or lose it, or use it to lose it?'

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

Man getting so excited he lifts his desk up.'

Gym. At some point you're going to have to raise the bar.

'Any improvement?' - 'Yes, my arms are getting longer.'

"Wife and two hernias to support!"

'For your aerobic exercise today, give me five 'Sweet Georgia Browns', a couple of 'Hot Times in the Old Town Tonight', and hit the showers.'

"I was building up my pecs."

Heavy syrup

'I thought that we would grow old gracefully together, but Bruce has to get 'pumping iron' out of his system first.'

'I got a darn D-plus, and that's WITH cheating!'

'Sir, I was wondering if I could get an extension on my paper?'

The Mosquito bite left an unsightly bump on Tom's body.

'If you count my outie, I've got a seven-pack.'

"A new record for the 2 handed snatch, press and hernia."

'I can lift an elephant with one hand. . . Show me an elephant with one hand and I'll lift him.'

When I said you were Ripped, Bob, I didn't mean your muscles.

Mister Hardo

Atlas' Exercise Machine

Spelling for Dumbies.

An embarrassing moment: the wrong floor. Joey presses the door close button. Just then the power fails.

Weight lifter with his weights caught in his suit.

"Remember to leave room for an extraordinarily heavy book you won't read."