Love Lifter Gifts

"I understand there are side effects associated with this new female libido pill, but I', willing to take those risks if it will save my marriage..."

Marriage Counselor - Another Success.

Romantic Weight Lifter

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

A sturdy hand-hold against the vicissitudes of life: $1.00 per minute.

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

Mother's Love

'I've chosen you for fresh, new ideas.'

'You mean that I have to carry them to my car?'

Sportsman and music

Library: The Weight lifting Section.

The Critic...

"Negative net force puts object in motion. Positive net force will be applied when Digby apologizes for eating my yoghurt."

'It's me, Santa... I've had work done.'

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

C'mon, Randall, cheer up....everybody dies.

'For your aerobic exercise today, give me five 'Sweet Georgia Browns', a couple of 'Hot Times in the Old Town Tonight', and hit the showers.'

Man getting so excited he lifts his desk up.'

"Your new book, 'Help - My Head's Caught in a Pipe,' has been called by some to be semi-autobiographical. Can you comment on these rumors?"

"I was building up my pecs."

"Wife and two hernias to support!"

'Any improvement?' - 'Yes, my arms are getting longer.'

The Best of Times/The Worst of Times

The White Whale Mounted On The Wall

Heavy syrup

bag of money as a bicep

The Mosquito bite left an unsightly bump on Tom's body.

'I thought that we would grow old gracefully together, but Bruce has to get 'pumping iron' out of his system first.'

'If you count my outie, I've got a seven-pack.'

"A new record for the 2 handed snatch, press and hernia."

'I can lift an elephant with one hand. . . Show me an elephant with one hand and I'll lift him.'

Mister Hardo

Atlas' Exercise Machine