Love Lifter Gifts

"I understand there are side effects associated with this new female libido pill, but I', willing to take those risks if it will save my marriage..."

Marriage Counselor - Another Success.

Romantic Weight Lifter

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

A sturdy hand-hold against the vicissitudes of life: $1.00 per minute.

"Have you tried barking at the moon?"

Sale. To do this job you just need to follow the old adage and "dance like nobody's watching"!

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

Mother's Love

'I've chosen you for fresh, new ideas.'

We regret to inform you that your poem, "The Ramen," does not meet our publishing needs at this time. The short, frustrating career of Edgar Allan Typoe.

'You mean that I have to carry them to my car?'

The Critic...

"Negative net force puts object in motion. Positive net force will be applied when Digby apologizes for eating my yoghurt."

Sportsman and music

Library: The Weight lifting Section.

'It's me, Santa... I've had work done.'

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

'For your aerobic exercise today, give me five 'Sweet Georgia Browns', a couple of 'Hot Times in the Old Town Tonight', and hit the showers.'

"I was building up my pecs."

Gym. At some point you're going to have to raise the bar.

C'mon, Randall, cheer up....everybody dies.

"Your new book, 'Help - My Head's Caught in a Pipe,' has been called by some to be semi-autobiographical. Can you comment on these rumors?"

Man getting so excited he lifts his desk up.'

'Any improvement?' - 'Yes, my arms are getting longer.'

"Wife and two hernias to support!"

The Best of Times/The Worst of Times

The White Whale Mounted On The Wall

Heavy syrup

The Mosquito bite left an unsightly bump on Tom's body.

'If you count my outie, I've got a seven-pack.'

'I thought that we would grow old gracefully together, but Bruce has to get 'pumping iron' out of his system first.'

bag of money as a bicep

"A new record for the 2 handed snatch, press and hernia."

When I said you were Ripped, Bob, I didn't mean your muscles.