Love Lifer Gifts

'One thing I do like about you Eddie is - you can take a hint.'

'You're in your nineties and still fancy women?' - 'Early nineties.'

I love you. You're my everything. Mixed Message Arts.

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

Margarita

"Have you tried barking at the moon?"

A sturdy hand-hold against the vicissitudes of life: $1.00 per minute.

Mother's Love

Sale. To do this job you just need to follow the old adage and "dance like nobody's watching"!

She was 'bright'. He kept it 'light'. They couldn't help but be attracted to each other.

We regret to inform you that your poem, "The Ramen," does not meet our publishing needs at this time. The short, frustrating career of Edgar Allan Typoe.

'You mean that I have to carry them to my car?'

"Figure it out, Sherlock! I'm a lovebird. You're a lovebird. We're cooped-up together in this cage 24 hours a day! Sooner or later it was bound to happen."

"When I first met him, he was my knight in shining armour. But, he hasn't been near the metal polish in years!"

Moths fly to Blackpool for illuminations: 'I'm telling you, you're gonna love it.'

Library: The Weight lifting Section.

The Critic...

'When we start the countdown, you creep up under the rocket, light the fuse, then run like hell.'

'Let's face it...We have irreconcilable differences!'

"Great launch party"

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

'For your aerobic exercise today, give me five 'Sweet Georgia Browns', a couple of 'Hot Times in the Old Town Tonight', and hit the showers.'

"Your new book, 'Help - My Head's Caught in a Pipe,' has been called by some to be semi-autobiographical. Can you comment on these rumors?"

"Wait!"

"I can't wait to put them on."

'Did anyone ever tell you that you look lovely under the glow of these energy saver lights?'

C'mon, Randall, cheer up....everybody dies.

"This room is always bathed in the most beautiful sunlight. Except at night of course."

The Best of Times/The Worst of Times

The White Whale Mounted On The Wall

"We've been dating for five years. Can I have Thursdays off please?"

bag of money as a bicep

Joe and Sally started an on-screen romance.

'You seemed keen enough yesterday when I suggested an evening of soft lights and sweet music!'

'Progress. Your prenup process is down to two boxes of tissue a day.'