Love Lifer Pillows

'One thing I do like about you Eddie is - you can take a hint.'

'You're in your nineties and still fancy women?' - 'Early nineties.'

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

Margarita

A sturdy hand-hold against the vicissitudes of life: $1.00 per minute.

Mother's Love

"Figure it out, Sherlock! I'm a lovebird. You're a lovebird. We're cooped-up together in this cage 24 hours a day! Sooner or later it was bound to happen."

"When I first met him, he was my knight in shining armour. But, he hasn't been near the metal polish in years!"

Moths fly to Blackpool for illuminations: 'I'm telling you, you're gonna love it.'

'You mean that I have to carry them to my car?'

The Critic...

'Let's face it...We have irreconcilable differences!'

'When we start the countdown, you creep up under the rocket, light the fuse, then run like hell.'

Library: The Weight lifting Section.

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

"Great launch party"

C'mon, Randall, cheer up....everybody dies.

"Wait!"

"Your new book, 'Help - My Head's Caught in a Pipe,' has been called by some to be semi-autobiographical. Can you comment on these rumors?"

'For your aerobic exercise today, give me five 'Sweet Georgia Browns', a couple of 'Hot Times in the Old Town Tonight', and hit the showers.'

'Did anyone ever tell you that you look lovely under the glow of these energy saver lights?'

"I can't wait to put them on."

"This room is always bathed in the most beautiful sunlight. Except at night of course."

The Best of Times/The Worst of Times

The White Whale Mounted On The Wall

bag of money as a bicep

"We've been dating for five years. Can I have Thursdays off please?"

The turning on the lights ceremony

Joe and Sally started an on-screen romance.

'Progress. Your prenup process is down to two boxes of tissue a day.'

'You seemed keen enough yesterday when I suggested an evening of soft lights and sweet music!'

'Then I add the juice of one bottle of brandy.'