Lifestyle Lifter Gifts

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

"I didn't spark joy."

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

"I just reached 1000 jumps."

"Death coach..."

'No, you won't live longer if you give up sex and alcohol. But it'll seem like it.'

Macho Vegetarian

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

'Where exactly did you get this 'Lifestyle Guru' from?'

Yoga Beginners Class. Breathe and stretch. That's Good. URGH! OOOF! "Yoga pants" should be something you wear and not something that happens because you can't catch your breath!

"You won’t need refills."

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

Does it spark joy?

GPs to be encouraged to offer advice on 'lifestyle' issues

Been there. Done that. (Man stands between two doors.)

Time Management Conultancy - Out, Out

"This area is popular with would-be actresses and models,we call it 'Silicon Implants'."

'I don't understand it - there was a little pile of solar dust from Advanced Composition Explorer right here a moment ago.'

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

Investment Guru/Lifestyle Guru/Tech Guru/Fashion Guru

'It says, 'If you want more fiber, eat the package.'

"When I say I'm rich I don't just mean in Omega 3 oils."

'Watch yourself.'

There, but for the grace of God, go I.

'I know dieting requires a change of lifestyle, Helen, but this is ridiculous!'

'Well, if you don't smoke or drink, stop chewing gum!'

Academy.

"I watched that Marie Kondo program on decluttering and decided to get rid of Norman."

"Actually I'm doing this to stand out more in the scholarly community."

"The long and the short of it, doctor, is that I'm ready to change from a soccer mom to a Nascar dad."

"I think you're going to like today's class."

"I tried change, it didn't work."

'I recently became a veggie.'

'You want to become a vegan?... Well okay, but you do realise there'll be nothing lower than you on the food chain?'

Intentional Community vs. Community of Sheer Happenstance