Scholarly Gym-goer Gifts

'You can never be too fit or too tenured.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

Where Skim Milk comes from.

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

Bench Press Accident

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

Sleepwalker on treadmill

'Every new year Gym membership goes up - for the Panto season.'

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

DumbbellsSmartbells.

Woman walks her dog on a running machine.

"I put the speed on reckless. . ."

"I have to get down to 125 pounds before I go back to my real gym."

"All those years of diversity training, seminars and research papers to shred the idea of male superiority....When all we really needed...was for them to train like the Lionesses for 20 minutes."

"Well, that will never be a yoga pose."

Keep Fit.

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

John liked to involve his pet snake in his keep-fit programme.

After working out in the congressional gym, I feel like a lean, mean, legislating machine.

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

Yoga for beginners,

'What, you afraid of a little exercise?'

'Checkmate!'

'You have to start exercising. Running your mouth, skipping lunch and jumping to conclusions won't help you tone up and lose weight.'