Scheduling Satirist Gifts

'Don't let anyone in without an appointment, and don't give anyone an appointment.'

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

'He takes his organization chart seriously.'

Dolestart - A New Initiative

'Time management seminar. Start: five-ish.'

How I met your mother

Boring Board Meeting

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

"All those in favor of eroticizing our annual report 'aye.'"

'Secondhand smoke.'

You're on, caller. What's your problem?! The Oscars were so very, very boring. You decided to sit in front of your tv for four hours watching rich people give themselves awards. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE ENTERTAINED, LOSER! They're coming out with a new show called "Watching Celebrities Cash Their Checks." You'd probably enjoy that. Get professionally berated at asksadie@rudypark.com.

"Well of COURSE it's mostly gobble-dee-gook! Were you expecting something different?"

'We've replaced the hiring bonus and the health coverage with a promise of a job.'

"I started at the bottom and worked my way up to not caring."

When staffing agencies screw up.

'Job satisfaction is up, because there are fewer jobs.'

"Wait a minute! This is a copy of 'TV Guide.' "

'W e e e l l . . . my mum says I'm good at testing the patience of saints'

'I don't think I could have picked a tougher line of work.'

'Time manager'

'So what do we have here?' - dart board says, Take the Day Off, Ignore the Loser,Do What the Goof Says, and Act Interested.

'I'm looking for someone to bask in my glow.'

Are these sessions as soul-deadening for you as they are for me, doctor? Let's not have a contest, Al. Or, if we do, no wagering.

The laugh track refuses to work, but I can't see the problem."

Beating by Appointment.

'Remember, guys, there's no 'I'll kill you before I ever budge an inch on any position' in TEAMWORK.'

'I've got my bandages to protect me!'

'Gentlemen, circle around on the spot several times and be seated.' - At the dog AGM

"Well done, doctor. I've never seen a phone removed from a hand so skillfully before."

Power Point Hell

Down with canned laughter.

"It's actually an ink stain but my wife has grown quite fond of it."

Sunset Romance

No Coin Flipping