Sceptics Unite Gifts

Clancy: Taking Everything with a Pinch of Salt

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

Asteroid Denying Dinosaur vs. Asteroid Believing Dinosaur.

'What is the meaning of poorly attended staff meetings.'

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'

Swami Trevor's Brotherhood of Celestial Enlightenment

"Can atheists refuse to participate?"

"Thank you for not praying."

"And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin..."

"Stop fact checking my story."

"MMPHH. . . I said I don't think I'm built for yoga!"

"Nope! Not that one! They still believe that 'gods' created the universe!"

Man to man re: crackpot's sign that says, 'Your Nutty Idea Here': Everybody's out to make a buck these days.

Boss: 'Speak up Smythe, I know you've got an opinion, I told you what it was in my email this morning!'

The first meeting.

"Spaghetti made from squash? Sounds like fake news."

Family Tree DNA Test

'I see you reaching into your wallet for a twenty dollar bill.'

'As far as I'm concerned...mathematics is a load of rubbish.'

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, lady, can't you read?"

Get rich today with cold fusion tomorrow! Invest now!: 'More like con - fusion! He's a con artist!'

Procrastinators Anonymous - Postponed

Agnostics Society: Absolute worst place to ask for directions.

"Tell me about yourself. I work mainly by extrapolation."

"I don't dislike you; I dislike your religion."

"I don't think you're being realistic."

Information. Speculation.

'I need a statement that I've been here for the past 15 minutes and read David Hume's An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding.'

'I'm getting the feeling you want a refund. But why? Let me consult my ball...'

"Mum said it's OK for us to watch. So it can't be much good."

I'll start believing in phantom withdrawals, when I get one case of a phantom deposit.

'I am simply saying that something is not right when your whole social life is online.'