Scent Marking Gifts

"Did you or did you not employ a leash to drag your cairn terrier, Jack, away from the corner of Park Avenue and Sixty-fifth Street in spite of his making every effort to clearly indicate to you that he wished to stay where he was?"

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"But everyone else gets to market their own personal scent!"

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

"What's that smell, girl? Is it spring?"

"It's less of a spell than it is a signature scent."

'Got anything with a little less musk?'

'It's nice to meet you Otto. Your scent precedes you.'

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

"Uh-oh,...she smells another dog in my portfolio..."

'I say we back off: I can't smell fear at all...'

"What pheromone are you using?"

"Is that Penny I smell? It's been so long... Hold on, is this Dougie? No way! That crazy mongrel, he is nuts! I remember that time he chased those kids on skateboards all the way down Cliff Street. Wait, is this Rosie?!"

'To cure your dog I suggest you change your aftershave lotion, Mr Lutshbuddle.'

Sniffing Zoo

'You know it's time to bath the dog when he starts to smell like a gym bag!'

"May I say that's a lovely combination of cyclomethicone, triisostearin, and propylene carbonate you're wearing today, Dr. Thomas!"

"Your perfume is driving me crazy. It smells like truffles."

'Garlic or non-garlic?'

At the animal perfume fair.

'Mine smell like coon urine. What does yours smell like?'

Skunk to psychologist: 'It doesn't do me any good to stop and smell the roses.'

"Absolutely perfect! How did you know?"

"Penny, what is that scent you have on? I must know." "Don't you just love it, Lucy? It's dead rat."

"I was attracted by his edgy cynicism, but I hated his cologne."

'Those plug in air-fresheners seem to do the trick.'

Scientists discovered an immense hole in Siberia. Nobody knows what caused it. Some think global warming melted a huge, gas-filled hill made of ice so fast that is exploded. Let's let them go on thinking that, little buddy. House of Java.net Cybercafe. By the way, if you ever go out to the middle of nowhere to brew your own black market cologne, make sure you don't brew it on a hill made of ice. That does not constitute an admission of anything.

"I've decided - I want to create my own essence."

'Nothing for me, thanks -- I'm just here for the aroma therapy.'

Prison ain't so bad- ? -aside from all the metrosexual activity.

"It's for people who have been using 'Obsession' too long."

'Meeting someone tonight?'

'Care to roll in our featured scent?'

I can smell the cheese sandwiches.