Scent Artisan Gifts

"Potential buyers of the company are coming through today. Tell everyone to look sharp and put a few bowls of potpourri here and there."

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

"When are you gonna roll in something?"

"I'm not saying your after shave smells bad, but.. maybe you should use one mosquitoes don't like so much!"

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

Aromatherapy for Men

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

''Spiced mill cider and home made apple pie.' Am I supposed to freshen the room with this or have it for dessert?'

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

'Sure I said I love 'new car smell', but not as an aftershave.'

"Remember, son, you can be anything you want to be...except for maybe an aroma therapist."

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

Overpowering perfume

"Great Perfume!"

'I don't smell any drugs, just Old Spice, geezer aftershave.'

"Why waste money on perfume when his favorite scent is stuffed pork chops?"

"I don't want them to smell fear, so I'm going to roll in something before the interview."

"I understand he's in aroma therapy.''

'You know it's time to bath the dog when he starts to smell like a gym bag!'

'Oh Darling, I just love the smell of your new aftershave...'

I miss that new planet smell.

"Mm, you smell terrif- ... no, wait. That's me."

"Sometimes, you have to stop and smell the roses, as well as the other flowers, and the bushes, and the trees, and the sidewalk, and the fire hydrant, and the trash on the side of the road..."

"He'll definitely notice this one madam, especially if you leave the receipt where he can find it."

'Cologne sir?'

'Never mind what looks good... what smells good?'

"It finally smells great in here, but now I can't afford furniture."

Scientists discovered an immense hole in Siberia. Nobody knows what caused it. Some think global warming melted a huge, gas-filled hill made of ice so fast that is exploded. Let's let them go on thinking that, little buddy. House of Java.net Cybercafe. By the way, if you ever go out to the middle of nowhere to brew your own black market cologne, make sure you don't brew it on a hill made of ice. That does not constitute an admission of anything.

I smell beer, Lance. You think that's fun? Try drinking some!

'Do you have any of the perfume that makes me look like Angelina Jolie?'

"There wearing masks during the COVID pandemic doesn't bother me really: I mostly recognise people by smell anyway..."

'Mine smell like coon urine. What does yours smell like?'

"Dab a little of this behind your ears. It'll drive him crazy."