Scattering Ashes Gifts

"I promised I'd bring him - he could never afford to come when he was alive."

"Is this the first time you've been fishing?"

Bird Torture.

"Someone's sending us a tweet...it says 'more seed, please!'"

Vendor selling testosterone.

'...I don't like your chances!'

'Now then you two, you can't both be Australia - one of you has to be England!'

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

"Again? I read you your Miranda rights last night."

'The only New Year's resolution he's still got intact is not to watch the England cricket team in Australia on television.'

Friendship.

"It's just that they usually ask for their ASHES to be scattered!"

Chernobyl, 30th anniversary

How farmers get away w/ eating crackers in bed

"Leftover seeds."

'I guess you'd call it a queer request. He wants his ashes put in a fruit jar and hidden in the closet.'

Inky marks his territory the new and improved way.

'Out batted, out bowled, out fielded!'

'You can always recognise a true gardener - out there before the weather actually gets nice enough for venturing into the garden.'

"I understand the special effects on this one are pretty realistic!"

'Let's give him a couple more minutes, but it looks like we've got ourselves a bum who can't fight his way out of a paper bag.'

Chi Kick

Volcano and plane

"I gave at the office!"

'I think we'll pass on having wine with dinner, but thanks for the ashtray.'

'Bleedin' volcanic ash!'

'You've got some cheek. Your middle order collapsed years ago.'

'You and your 'let's go joint the Neighbourhood Watch patrol'!'

"So...what's a nice grill like you doing in a place like this?"

Bucket List: I wish people would stop using me as an ashtray!

'Can Wally come out and interact and relate to his peers?'

The End...