Scatological Humor Fans Pillows

"Looks a bit wet, have you tried adding more fibre?"

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

End the Winter Blues

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

'The government's right. Not counting, food, clothing, energy, shelter, health care, or transportation, inflation is hardly going up.'

"This number goes out to all the little people I met on my way back down."

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

"You calm down."

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

"I'd like to see you do this online."

Greed.

Telekinetics on strike...

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

"I absolutely guarantee your workloads will not increase."

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

'She's not very good. She only did three revolutions and her air wasn't all that much.'

Sure, it helps to be a blood-sucking parasite, but that's not all it takes to be a stockbroker...

"Of course I'm going to give him a tip - he should take lessons!"

"Your farm's doing well John. What's your secret?"

'According to this, you ate all the pies.'

'Oh, honey, what a lovely house... We'll place the couch here, the cupboard there and my psychiatrist right here!'

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

Men working (part time).

'Ants of all lands, unite!'

'So, then.... you don't LIKE life in the fast lane?'

"So, how's your scary movie?"

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

"Don't worry, Emily. . . I'm woke and you're woke, so I'm sure our baby will turn out woke!"

"Is your dog friendly?"