Satanic Humor Fans Pillows

Priest walks by a religious book shelf and and a Satan book pops out to hit him on the head.

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

End the Winter Blues

'The government's right. Not counting, food, clothing, energy, shelter, health care, or transportation, inflation is hardly going up.'

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

"You calm down."

St. Elmo's fired.

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

"'Tis but a scratch — in America, I'd still have to go in for work today."

"I'd like to see you do this online."

Greed.

Telekinetics on strike...

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

'She's not very good. She only did three revolutions and her air wasn't all that much.'

Sure, it helps to be a blood-sucking parasite, but that's not all it takes to be a stockbroker...

"Your farm's doing well John. What's your secret?"

"Of course I'm going to give him a tip - he should take lessons!"

Men working (part time).

"So, how's your scary movie?"

For instance, a $25 delivery charge. You'd clean up right there.

"Is your dog friendly?"

"Don't worry, Emily. . . I'm woke and you're woke, so I'm sure our baby will turn out woke!"

'Oh, honey, what a lovely house... We'll place the couch here, the cupboard there and my psychiatrist right here!'

'Ants of all lands, unite!'

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

'So, then.... you don't LIKE life in the fast lane?'

"Sorry, coffee is delivered by a union shop and you banned all things union."