Scary Story Fan Gifts

White house staff advised to check their closets for Stephen Miller before bedtime.

'Why should I be scared? I'm not a crow...'

"My heart is in my throat every time you do this!"

Silence of the Chickens...

"Careful, Len. You'll spook the herd."

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

Transylvanian backpackers.

"You do realize I'm going to have to bill you for ten?"

I have an idea - Let's sit around the campfire and watch scary movies on our iPads!

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

'So, what's for dinner ...a séance?'

Open House of Horrors

Frankenstein's Monster's PC.

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

How was the Halloween party? Who was there? It was fun, except the Zombie didn't talk to anybody. The Grim Reaper was a real killjoy, and the jack-o-lantern made a fool of himself -- by the end of the evening he was smashed. Did the Black Cat or the Ghost attend? I crossed paths with a black cat but I don't know if the Ghost came to the party. All night it felt like he was right there but I never actually saw him!

"For drinks or dinner?"

Zombie Problems

"There's a loose string on your sweater, dear, but I'm afraid to pull it."

'Seriously Vicar, I do not think you have seen this guy in the morning service!'

Monsters looking for a new bed to move under.

Frankenstein's Reading Light

'Regular or decapitated?'

It's spooky how Amazon can track you down

"Please....wait...the...meeting...host...will....let you...in....soon."

Gypsy curses didn't seem so threatening after the Mummy went into the peg business.

'Never accept the first offer, always hold out for more.'

'I'll be the back yard cutting firewood. Have you seen my protective goggles?. . .Well, luckily I kept my old hockey mask!'

"OSHA is going to hear about this!"

'Big deal! -- anybody can build a prefab!'

"Dad, tell us a scary meteorite story."

"Now make sure your heat is high enough to sear your putrid meat quickly."

'I really got to stop watching paranormal movies before bed!'

One of Dracula's 'coffin mournings'.