Scarecrow Strategist Pillows

'The infrared reading is negative: It's only a scarecrow... Let's go...'

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

'Did you clear this through Legal first?'

No, I don

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

'Don finally figured out a way to keep the squirrels from getting at the bird feeder.'

Scarecrows guarding a field

'I knew this was a bad place to work when I saw that they call the company handbook 'the Owner's Manual.''

"Try unplugging it and throwing it out the window."

"Relax. They're just crows."

'The guy in the scarecrow shop promised me that nothing scares crows better than the 'Giant Fox XR50'.'

Saving for Retirement.

'Yes, it's easy to make a mistake in a conduct dismissal, Bob. But as mistakes go this is a big one.'

"Phizby, your can't do attitude has really cut down on screw-ups around here. Keep up the good work!"

"I guess the point I'm trying to make is, calling the committee on Progress and Evolution a bunch of know-it-all nincompoops might have felt good when you said it, but..."

'I've decided to make you someone else's problem.'

Wow, what a scarecrow! Oh yes, the crows are even returning the seed they stole yesterday.

"You know, he's not nearly as scary close up!"

Vaccinating Scarecrow

'The fact that you worked as an unpaid intern shows you don't understand the concept of being a banker.'

'To Err is human...but to forgive is against company policy!'

"I'm afraid there will be more cuts."

"Can't you just troll me?"

'If you can't beat 'em join 'em.'

"Have you figured out what the powers of that new super hero will be? How about the power to meet deadlines? That would be a good power?"

'I couldn't keep squirrels away from my bird feeders, so I called a lawyer!'

"Congratulations, gentlemen - we have achieved failure."

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

"How about fashionably never?"

"Hey - let's not us re-invent wheel."

'Easiest job I've ever had: Farmer Jones is paying me $5 an hour to be a scarecrow...'

"You're getting too much fiber."

"I miss the scarecrow."

"Of course failure is an option; I use it all the time!"