Scapegoat Survivor T-Shirts

"It's so unfair, I'm blamed all the time even though it's never my fault..."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

Caddie brings his golfer a shovel in the sand trap.

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"It's not my fault! The Russians must have hacked my brain!"

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

"The chef made some substitutions to tonight's menu. Instead of Escarots a la Bourguignonne, he's cooking hot dogs."

'Honey's a real problem for me. Whenever I try to cut back, I just end up binging on campers.'

'It's a slow trap.'

"We're going to play the boss's favorite game - 'pin the blame on the scapegoat.'"

'The escargots are underdone.'

"I can recommend the snails, if you don't mind waiting."

'Aches! Pains! Fever! I'm going to call tech support.'

"I tweeted yesterday. 'Sleep with your windows open'. It was liked and shared by 2000 mosquitos."

"I hate sand traps."

Offering a golfer a spade.

Today's Special: Escargot Appetizer

"Did you know that cats can give paw?"

"I'm pretty sure the term is 'interface,' not 'in your face.'"

'Nutcrackers! I take it this is the first time you've had snails, sir?'

"That's not a haboob. It's Ed trying to get his ball out of a bunker."

'This is a very unforgiving golf course.'

Snail ordering 'Hommes.'

Coping with sarcasm aimed at your toupee.

"Just admit you were wrong. I'll select the things you were wrong about."

Snail Gumball Machine.

'Where's the ball? Where's the BALL!?'

'I dunno, I've never stayed up long enough to find out.'

'That's right, sir - they ate the salad.'

"School is a lot like life. It's hours and hours of boredom...interrupted by the occasional moment of panic."