Sauna Fan Gifts

'Birthmark? Nope...no pocket protector during the great permanent ink pen leak of '72.'

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

it my imagination or is it getting warmer?"

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

'we must be near the water because I see a sea gull.'

'We can't go in... we've only one 'pair of trunks' between us!'

DIY marriage counseling.

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

Desert Dermatologist

Do you think room service could bring me an ice lolly?

"Oh, you know - wearing light clothing, drinking plenty of liquids, and avoiding strenuous activity."

"I can't believe this! Is there anyone here who isn't too chicken to jump?"

"I'm not kidding: I am feline too and I do love swimming!"

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

"It's a Mexican Wave!!"

Surfing kangaroo #1 Hawaiian shirt.

"Today we can help herd cattle, go on a nature hike, get a sauna and massage, or go into town and rob the bank."

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

"Dig deep! C'mon! You got this!"

"You're right. The sunscreen does taste like ranch dressing."

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

'Apparently you forgot to pack his rubber shark.'

Therapy for the cow dependent

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

"How do you feel about turning over?"

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

'Try to relax, Ed. It's a beach, not sandy soil.'

"The public seems concerned about the size of government."

'I keep having these flashbacks.'