Sauna Fan Pillows

'Birthmark? Nope...no pocket protector during the great permanent ink pen leak of '72.'

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

it my imagination or is it getting warmer?"

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

'we must be near the water because I see a sea gull.'

'We can't go in... we've only one 'pair of trunks' between us!'

Do you think room service could bring me an ice lolly?

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

Desert Dermatologist

DIY marriage counseling.

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

"Oh, you know - wearing light clothing, drinking plenty of liquids, and avoiding strenuous activity."

"I can't believe this! Is there anyone here who isn't too chicken to jump?"

"It's a Mexican Wave!!"

Surfing kangaroo #1 Hawaiian shirt.

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

"I'm not kidding: I am feline too and I do love swimming!"

"Today we can help herd cattle, go on a nature hike, get a sauna and massage, or go into town and rob the bank."

"You're right. The sunscreen does taste like ranch dressing."

"Dig deep! C'mon! You got this!"

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

'Apparently you forgot to pack his rubber shark.'

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

"How do you feel about turning over?"

Therapy for the cow dependent

"The public seems concerned about the size of government."

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

'Try to relax, Ed. It's a beach, not sandy soil.'

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'