Sauna Pillows

"Can I get back to you? I'm eliminating toxins."

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

"Frank you're starting to turn red, Frank?"

Indoor sauna.

"Well, after you've eliminated all the toxins in your body, could you take the car for it's MOT."

Do you think room service could bring me an ice lolly?

'Nobody will see it in the sauna. Besides, how bad can your birthmark actually be?'

"Thanks, but a free sauna session would be wasted on me: I can't really sweat..."

"The public seems concerned about the size of government."

Summer Sauna

"Right gentlemen, I think it's high time we undressed the element in the room."

"No, it's certainly not too hot, not for me anyway."

"I'll never understand why grownups would pay to take a bath."

"She broke up with me. What should I do?"

"I always come here when I need to blow of some steam."

Winter Coat Check at a Tropical Destination's Airport

Woman uses a remote control to turn on the sunset.

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

Bad fake tan day.

Spa

"Once upon a midnight dreary / while I pondered weak and weary."

"The tide is coming in, sweetheart!"

'More bubbles!'

"Hello coastguard, it's my husband, he's beached"

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

Iliadette.

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

Sunbathers.

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

'It's a blonde, long-legged species with a melodious voice and it goes south for the winter.'

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

Sunbathing in Autumn

'I blame global warming!'

it my imagination or is it getting warmer?"