Sauce Slinger Gifts

Cooking Cowboy

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

Man's cooking explodes.

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

"It all happened so fast. 'Notable Book of the Year' to the remainder shelves to HERE in just six months!"

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

Meet the author

"I've read all your books and seen all your plays, and I wear your 'Gimme' cap."

The novel was printed and in the stores ... any minute now, the world would beat down his door.

Whatever!

Freedom

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

"No wonder you can't write, you're not plugged in!"

'The first thing we will do is select a block captain.'

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

Ketchup Kafe...Where Kondiment is King!

"Love the tie, Chad—that is so pimp!"

So you've lost your journalism job. Yep and my freelance contracts. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Free distribution of information is driving publishers out of business. I can't compete against thousands of free blogs. Twenty years I spent learning to be a professional journalist and I'm a dinosaur. What'd you say? I was reading Gawker. Shoot me.

"I just want to say thanks for getting me into this writing group."

Vote Grinkley! Now you see him, now you don't.

"Or we could go to the exhibition chronicling in depth, the development of the hip hop scene..."

Skywriter's Block

"We're still pretty far apart. I'm looking for a six-figure advance and they're refusing to read the manuscript."

'Ed' 'Op-ed'

'This week's column is going to be about Writer's Block, and it's...'

"Yeah, that's right...ignore me, pal! You don't want an instrument of my excellence and awesomeness that would instantly make you a chick magnet and the envy of all your friends!..."

"Do you have to put tomato sauce on everything?"

"You're a writer? But what do you do for money?"

The Cartoonist's armoury

'Are you sure this is the only way to get rid of your writers block?'

Just Stop Oil Painting

'Too-Wit-Woola-Bool-Kerla-Bam-Boo!'