Drink Slinger Gifts

"Take THAT, 2020!!!"

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

Balancing two espresso martinis

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

Meet the author

"I've read all your books and seen all your plays, and I wear your 'Gimme' cap."

"It all happened so fast. 'Notable Book of the Year' to the remainder shelves to HERE in just six months!"

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

The novel was printed and in the stores ... any minute now, the world would beat down his door.

Freedom

Whatever!

Oog is an expert at throwing stones at things - he's a "rock-it" scientist.

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

"No wonder you can't write, you're not plugged in!"

'The first thing we will do is select a block captain.'

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

"I just want to say thanks for getting me into this writing group."

'Shh, Ben's running it right to us. That's his 'I've got everything under control' howl.'

So you've lost your journalism job. Yep and my freelance contracts. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Free distribution of information is driving publishers out of business. I can't compete against thousands of free blogs. Twenty years I spent learning to be a professional journalist and I'm a dinosaur. What'd you say? I was reading Gawker. Shoot me.

Pianist-boxer

"Love the tie, Chad—that is so pimp!"

Vote Grinkley! Now you see him, now you don't.

"Or we could go to the exhibition chronicling in depth, the development of the hip hop scene..."

Skywriter's Block

"We're still pretty far apart. I'm looking for a six-figure advance and they're refusing to read the manuscript."

'Ed' 'Op-ed'

"Yeah, that's right...ignore me, pal! You don't want an instrument of my excellence and awesomeness that would instantly make you a chick magnet and the envy of all your friends!..."

'This week's column is going to be about Writer's Block, and it's...'

Stock Market - Bull vs Bear

"You're a writer? But what do you do for money?"

'Are you sure this is the only way to get rid of your writers block?'

'It's not enough that you want to publish it, you must beg for it.'

The Cartoonist's armoury