Saturday Night Tv Watchers Gifts

'There's no decent comedy on TV nowadays. Why don't they bring back Mr Blobby?'

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

Tree house.

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

'Och lye the news'

Watching the football.

'What did I SAY to DAVE?' - A person with hangover worrying about the night before.

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

Incorrect weather forecasts.

It's a Dog's life

"Then we agree. 10 minutes of your news, then 10 minutes of mine."

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

And here is the day's news that we are going shove down your throat.

"So much for finding intelligent life on this planet."

Unable to get going each day without her dose of Katie Couric, Lois shifted her schedule to be in sync with the star's new evening news job.

'The opinions expressed by Burt are not necessarily those of Ernie.'

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

'According to the latest reports, there were no earlier reports.'

'The sword in the stone was just a warm-up - now you must remove this remote control ...'

'I got my degree by watching JEOPARDY.'

It's 10PM. Do you know if you're under electronic surveillance from a spy satellite?

Sailor notices a sea mine in his foot bath.

End of football season - UK

This program is made possible by donations from Don and Mary Doughaberg, and from lowlifes like you who never get their names mentioned.

Dog watched 'Fire Hydrants of the Rich and Famous.'