Saturday Night Tv Watchers Gifts

'There's no decent comedy on TV nowadays. Why don't they bring back Mr Blobby?'

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

Tree house.

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

'Och lye the news'

Watching the football.

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

'What did I SAY to DAVE?' - A person with hangover worrying about the night before.

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

Incorrect weather forecasts.

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

It's a Dog's life

"Then we agree. 10 minutes of your news, then 10 minutes of mine."

"So much for finding intelligent life on this planet."

'The opinions expressed by Burt are not necessarily those of Ernie.'

'According to the latest reports, there were no earlier reports.'

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

And here is the day's news that we are going shove down your throat.

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

'The sword in the stone was just a warm-up - now you must remove this remote control ...'

This program is made possible by donations from Don and Mary Doughaberg, and from lowlifes like you who never get their names mentioned.

Sailor notices a sea mine in his foot bath.

Man ignores a football kicked through the window because his attention is on the TV.

Dog watched 'Fire Hydrants of the Rich and Famous.'

It's 10PM. Do you know if you're under electronic surveillance from a spy satellite?

"Dad, I was thinking...can I get a tattoo...right here!"