Saturday Night Gifts

It's Saturday night. You're watching the Dateless Channel.

'Although rare, Saturday Night Fever on a Tuesday is not unheard of.'

'What did I SAY to DAVE?' - A person with hangover worrying about the night before.

'There you are dear! That's you all ready to watch Saturday night television now...'

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

Take seat. Nothing makes me happier than keeping people warm and cooking s'mores for them. Friendly fire.

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"Bloody hell!"

"He's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes...like a DOLL'S EYES!!"

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

No, this is the red lagoon, the black one is down the road a bit.

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

"We need to make it through at least one movie, so we have something to root for during the Oscars."

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

"You can tell it's a period drama because they're not wearing ozone helmets."

Do it! Go into the woods alone!...

"OK, stop me if you've never heard this before!"

Infinity Tavern

'We're the first film ever in HD 3-D DOUBLE D!'

"So is this war movie rated R, rated PG, or rated RPG?"

"I loved the bit where you hid under the seat."

Cinemuck

'No, when something blows up it doesn't buffer, that's just special effects.'

'I just got the medium popcorn this time.'

Playing cards.

Queen Kong

Blockbuster Billion Club

"Let's see, we bought the giant pop corn, tow giant sodas, and a big box of candy. . . we were lucky the megaplex's loan department was open!"

"Pavlov's dog: Friday night"

"Great idea. Movies are so much better on the big screen."