Saturated In Satire Gifts

"Personally, I can't see the Trojans falling for it."

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

Bureaucracy gone mad!

"That's right - 'What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.' You just keep on thinking that..."

'What makes you think I want a trophy wife?'

"Actually, I think it's a cluster of SCUD missiles heading our way!"

'Probably giving evidence at some sort of industrial tribunal....heh!'

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

Family Butcher.

The trap

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

The Modern Damocles -

The Unknown Philosopher, who first realised life is no picnic.

Corporate Punishment.

Peace bomb.

ENNUI...(smiley face).

"First of all, kudos on landing a corner office."

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

When staffing agencies screw up.

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

"These pills will cure your O.C.D., but first I wonder if you could organize my shelves."

'It's good you called me when you did, Bill. Believe it or not, a little speed-bump like this can derail a perfectly good career if it isn't handled just right!'

"Do we wait for it to be approved as an antibiotic, or do we go ahead right now and sell it as furniture polish?"

Art Vandalism

Well done, Harris. That's one of the straightest paperclips I've ever seen.

'Never to be seen again!"

"Has your husband been exposed to Christmas at all?"

Might Versus Right.

'A role model? Yes, I suppose he was. Everywhere he went, people would say 'That's Bill Fenton... You don't want to be that guy!''

"You seem to have the right combination of bitterness, pessimism, and caffeine consumption that we're looking for."