Saturated In Satire Gifts

"Personally, I can't see the Trojans falling for it."

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

Bureaucracy gone mad!

"That's right - 'What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.' You just keep on thinking that..."

'What makes you think I want a trophy wife?'

'Probably giving evidence at some sort of industrial tribunal....heh!'

"Actually, I think it's a cluster of SCUD missiles heading our way!"

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

The Modern Damocles -

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

The Notre Dame Five Year Restoration Plan Swing Into Action.

The trap

Family Butcher.

The Unknown Philosopher, who first realised life is no picnic.

Peace bomb.

Corporate Punishment.

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

"First of all, kudos on landing a corner office."

When staffing agencies screw up.

ENNUI...(smiley face).

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

"These pills will cure your O.C.D., but first I wonder if you could organize my shelves."

'It's good you called me when you did, Bill. Believe it or not, a little speed-bump like this can derail a perfectly good career if it isn't handled just right!'

"Do we wait for it to be approved as an antibiotic, or do we go ahead right now and sell it as furniture polish?"

Art Vandalism

Well done, Harris. That's one of the straightest paperclips I've ever seen.

"It's the press. They want to know if you have anything to say about the sexual harassment charges being levied against you."

'Never to be seen again!"

'A role model? Yes, I suppose he was. Everywhere he went, people would say 'That's Bill Fenton... You don't want to be that guy!''

"You seem to have the right combination of bitterness, pessimism, and caffeine consumption that we're looking for."

Campus. Professor Frump is the most respected faculty member here. All the other professors want to be noticed by him. This semester he's teaching three classes. But for some unknown reason lots of students are dropping the second one. He asked why this is happening. Hoping to impress him, sociology and economics scholars rushed to present him with their theories. I guess he should have been more specific when he questioned with the middle class is disappearing.

Might Versus Right.

'You do realise we are going to have to kill you!'