Watching Satire Gifts

'It's OK. If I was stuck in a dead-end government job, I'd probably be every bit as sick and sadistic.'

Sadly, Fusco, the labor union says I can't have you fired, and the legal department says I can't have you arrested. Fortunately, the mafia says I can have you killed.

"First of all, kudos on landing a corner office."

'There are ZOMBIE firms out there...'

'You do realise we are going to have to kill you!'

"No mask on? $250 fine!"

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

Bureaucracy gone mad!

'Probably giving evidence at some sort of industrial tribunal....heh!'

"Actually, I think it's a cluster of SCUD missiles heading our way!"

CHANNEL THIRTEEN TAKES ON THE NETWORKS

In my day, they didn

'What makes you think I want a trophy wife?'

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

The Notre Dame Five Year Restoration Plan Swing Into Action.

The Modern Damocles -

The trap

Family Butcher.

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

The Unknown Philosopher, who first realised life is no picnic.

Corporate Punishment.

Peace bomb.

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

Knights of the Round Whatever

"I'm a huge fan of your work."

Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough...

ENNUI...(smiley face).

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

'It's good you called me when you did, Bill. Believe it or not, a little speed-bump like this can derail a perfectly good career if it isn't handled just right!'

'We just received a radio signal from Tau-Upsilon that was utter drivel. Do you suppose it was one of their TV shows?'

"Do we wait for it to be approved as an antibiotic, or do we go ahead right now and sell it as furniture polish?"

Well done, Harris. That's one of the straightest paperclips I've ever seen.