Satirical Socializer Pillows

'Well I'd love to stay and chat, but this is one of those 'get things done' days.'

The prying mantis,

"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."

"Yes, one is a dog."

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

Horse statue throws off rider.

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

Quiz Night...

'Looks like everyone has FINALLY gone home.'

"I'm after the history section."

The Vicar 's Invitation to Dinner.

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"

The Janitor at the Harvard University Alumni Reunion is one of the Gang.

Inhospitality tent.

"God help us, it's that guy."

"These 'ordinary working class' types, I think my scout at Oxford must have been one."

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"It keeps me from looking at my phone every two seconds."

"I always wondered who got my transplant."

Illustration on the problem of money that is given to charities ending up in the hands of governments.

'Oh no! The sharp elbowed middle class!'

"All the better to ignore you with."

"Would you like to be notified by text when I'm bored and want to go home?"

"Sometimes I have this awful feeling I'm really a West Side Person."

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

"I finally lost a few ounces with my activity tracker. I took it off."