Whimsical Socializer Pillows

"Of all the lazy, lowdown, deadbeat, pathetic losers you've ever met who had the most influence on you?"

"Home depot."

Spring Training

Newt sale

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Quiz Night...

'Looks like everyone has FINALLY gone home.'

The Janitor at the Harvard University Alumni Reunion is one of the Gang.

"Would you like to be notified by text when I'm bored and want to go home?"

"I finally lost a few ounces with my activity tracker. I took it off."

Beer Garden Kit

"Practicing my hate-face."

The Devil's advocaat.

"I'll have a Bloody Mary. And bring a Witch Hazel and tonic for the little woman."

Getting old...

Magic Mushrooms

Ever since I was a calf, I've always wanted my own henchman!

'Have any of you guys seen a crap magician with a magic top hat?'

'She's spring cleaning and you?'

Mime artist reading: 'Thinking Outside the Invisible Box.'

"You ruin every virtual party we go to!"

"Oh, no thank you. I’m rumaki-free."

"I'm Generation Z. Nice to meet you."

Will Make You Sick So You Can Go Home.

Quwaket

'Of course, how else do you think we get off the ground? '

'Your drink, madam. Courtesy of the gentlemen at the bar.'

Does a bear poop in the Christmas tree lot?

A group of people sit in a coffee shop.

"Every bar has its obnoxious drunk."

'I wish my wife would stop playing mind games with me. I'm tired of losing.'

It's called 'Pretentious.' It tastes like crap, but it's $100 per bottle!