Satirical Sermonizer Gifts

"And now a reading from the catalogs of Saint Paul."

First Church of Fiscal Morality: The Meek Shall Inherit The National Debt!

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

Priest's 'To do' list.

Ghostwriting the Bible

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

"Freshly ground pepper?"

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

'Due to our failure to secure a holiday-relief organisty, the next hymn will also be sung to the tune of Chopsticks.'

'..Then people will say, 'Why can't dogs get married?'.. And then, 'Why can't cats and dogs marry?'..'

How's my sermon. . .

Bishops Snooker

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

Master Artists' Computer Graphics: Michelangelo's 'God's Creation of the Adam Computer.'

The Ten Really Cool Facts

The ten ammendments

'Even More Disciples'

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

"...and in conclusion..."

Free ticket to heaven... details inside

Cheap Labour Countries.

"I'll take new members any way I can get them."

"And the Lord said, 'You know, it takes a ton of money to run a place like this.'"

'Verily, Noah, the flood I am about to unleash is retribution for Tory defections to UKIP!'

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

"Many of us are worrying, Brother Daniel, that you've become too clothes conscious."

"Whew! What a day! I just get out of bed and all Hell breaks loose."