Satirical Sermonizer Gifts

"And now a reading from the catalogs of Saint Paul."

First Church of Fiscal Morality: The Meek Shall Inherit The National Debt!

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

Priest's 'To do' list.

"Eat not of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Its sources have yet to be verified."

Ghostwriting the Bible

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"Freshly ground pepper?"

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

The Last upper: Novus Ordo Style

"Relax, folks! I’m a lawyer. I can always find loopholes!"

'Due to our failure to secure a holiday-relief organisty, the next hymn will also be sung to the tune of Chopsticks.'

'..Then people will say, 'Why can't dogs get married?'.. And then, 'Why can't cats and dogs marry?'..'

How's my sermon. . .

Bishops Snooker

The Ten Really Cool Facts

Master Artists' Computer Graphics: Michelangelo's 'God's Creation of the Adam Computer.'

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

"...and in conclusion..."

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

Free ticket to heaven... details inside

'Even More Disciples'

The ten ammendments

Cheap Labour Countries.

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

"I'll take new members any way I can get them."

"Whew! What a day! I just get out of bed and all Hell breaks loose."

"Many of us are worrying, Brother Daniel, that you've become too clothes conscious."