Satirical Saver Pillows

Jeff discovered a new bank account where his money would always be safe.

"The Scrimpshaws have finally decided to deposit their savings."

A man peddles U.S. flags on the sidewalk, next to a man peddling copies of the U.S. constitution

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

'It's cheaper than gas.'

'Screen saver. . . or did his computer freeze again?'

Phone Hacking Explained - 50 p.

"I'm sorry, honey. I thought you'd be happy that your germ-ridden blanket was such a hit on eBay."

Failure is no an option: "I'd now like to speak on the topic of government bailouts!"

"I recommend you invest in oil. Prices are down now, but auto leaks are up."

Scandalous! The Germans are occupying the best places on the beach!

Must Adopt As A Pair.

"Rumours of a crisis in the NHS are groundless...Spending is up by 2%, management ratios down by 62%..."

'Today the Yuan rose against the pork belly, the chicken beak, the eel, the wanton, and the egg noodle.'

"Did you hear? It turns out old power cords are really valuable! Good things Dad kept them!"

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

"For my will I decided to cut out the middle man and bequeath all my money to the IRS."

'I should warn you, I charge double if you want me to examine both of them, Mrs. Jacobs.'

"Oh! I thought that was our party manifesto..."

"Papers late again, Murphy?"

"It's a small fridge, honey. Not everything is going to make the cut."

'I had a wonderful evening, Oswald but this wasn't it,I'm afraid!'

"We’ve been told to cut the drugs budget so in future Louella here will be chanting away your pain."

EU money addiction

'Would sir like to start with the hors d'oeuvres, or just go to the main corpse?'

Jeb Can Ficks It

A Close Call

"We could repair this one of a kind globe that has been in the family for many generations or just throw it away."

"I live for twenty four hours. How can I fund a 401 K?"

'But it's my favourite jumper...'