Satire Saver Pillows

Businessman in the bin.

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

Director/Action Man toy.

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

reincarnated worm...

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

The height of fashion in 1796

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

Fabrique en Francais (Made in France).

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

What's normal?

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

"I don't like the looks of that!"

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"