Satirical Saver Mugs

Jeff discovered a new bank account where his money would always be safe.

"The Scrimpshaws have finally decided to deposit their savings."

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

A man peddles U.S. flags on the sidewalk, next to a man peddling copies of the U.S. constitution

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

'It's cheaper than gas.'

'Screen saver. . . or did his computer freeze again?'

"I'm sorry, honey. I thought you'd be happy that your germ-ridden blanket was such a hit on eBay."

Failure is no an option: "I'd now like to speak on the topic of government bailouts!"

Phone Hacking Explained - 50 p.

"I recommend you invest in oil. Prices are down now, but auto leaks are up."

Scandalous! The Germans are occupying the best places on the beach!

'Today the Yuan rose against the pork belly, the chicken beak, the eel, the wanton, and the egg noodle.'

Must Adopt As A Pair.

"Rumours of a crisis in the NHS are groundless...Spending is up by 2%, management ratios down by 62%..."

Tarzan mobile phone

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

"Did you hear? It turns out old power cords are really valuable! Good things Dad kept them!"

"For my will I decided to cut out the middle man and bequeath all my money to the IRS."

"Papers late again, Murphy?"

"Oh! I thought that was our party manifesto..."

"It's a small fridge, honey. Not everything is going to make the cut."

Without telling me, you invested my salary in The Infant Restaurant Critic. It's a funny story, actually … Weeks earlier, the cafe got a visit from a baby whose screaming and yelling can make or break the restaurant. If the baby eats the food, the eatery gets a good review online. If not, ouch. It's not Yelp, more like yell. Or whine. But like so many subjective concepts, this one can be corrupted. It turned out that the entrepreneurs behind The Infant Restaurant Critic were willing to compromis

'I should warn you, I charge double if you want me to examine both of them, Mrs. Jacobs.'

Jeb Can Ficks It

"We’ve been told to cut the drugs budget so in future Louella here will be chanting away your pain."

"We could repair this one of a kind globe that has been in the family for many generations or just throw it away."

'I had a wonderful evening, Oswald but this wasn't it,I'm afraid!'

A Close Call

Compete with This

The 12 Days of Covidmas

EU money addiction

'Would sir like to start with the hors d'oeuvres, or just go to the main corpse?'

"I live for twenty four hours. How can I fund a 401 K?"

"Thank you for holding, your prayers have advanced in the queue and will be answered by the next available deity."