Satirical Satisfaction Gifts

Nethead strip: Psycho analyst

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."

"This is a tune about going off the grid and getting back to nature."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"I think you'll like this idea-it's sort of 'dull' meets 'inoffensive.' "

"What I'm prescribing is so cutting edge, even I can't pronounce it."

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

"It's a sequel to 'The Thinker'. It's 'The Blamer.'"

'Pencil on couch being psycho analysed.'

"I owe all my success to the psychiatrist who gave me the word GREED as my mantra!"

The Jerry Scarer

"That was Brad with the Democratic weather. Now here's Tammy with the Republican weather."

"We're on track for net zero."

Conclave.

"Running is great. Unless you compare it with not running."

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

"No, no, your job's not going out of the country to some foreign bastard. We're just firing you."

'Sometimes I think you're on a different planet.'

"My client pleads not guilty, by reason that everyone else is doing it."

"Miss Winthrop, tell my callers that I'm busy with the World Bank."

Europe

"Some other news, China declares war on Peru, ISIS blows up the pyramids and the pope resigns. Now back to more comments from David Bowie fans."

"This machine kills fascists, and this machine kills fascists, and this one is just a guitar."

Psychological Warfare Target Practice

TV and man

"Die alone"

A well-dressed panhandler holds a sign that reads "Will argue for food".

"I'm going to use my tax cut to trickle down on you all."

Bad business inc.

Apocalipsis

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Joy Behar?'

'Yes, they've kept it pretty close to the book.'

'So, Bob, we've decided to do some rebranding!'

"Excuse me, have you seen a large gent with a red coat and face to match."