Satisfaction Gifts

"Winners don't leave Yelp reviews."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

Butterfly Woman

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

Bullseye!

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

Boom

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

Not much money, glory, or praise

"I've divided my workday into nine manageable segment that are each followed by a brief period of pessimism and regret."

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

Don't worry, the first thirty years working here are the hardest.

Jumping Man

"How are you enjoying the job?" "Oh, Ilove the job...it's the work that I hate."

'I became successful when my dreams changed from the Cary Grants of the world to federal grants.'

Find out that man's name and give him a rise.

"I've had enough sweets for one day."

Job complaints on road signs.

'I used to be an accountant but I found it too depressing.'

"I know by outward standard I'm successful, but a voice inside my head keeps saying, 'Where's your private plane?"

Successful sales people are avid goal setters...

'I can't give you a raise... but I can rent you a cubicle.'

'It's true that money can't buy everything, Caldwell, but it's not healthy to dwell on it.'

"I hate my job and I'm terrified of losing it."

"I'm pretty sure it was rising to the top and not having to answer to anyone that cured me of my habit of muttering under my breath."

'Shouldn't you be somewhere clawing yourself to the top, or something?'

Just a little heads up!