Customer Satisfaction Enthusiast Gifts

'He's never happy when he gets less than 100% in his customer feedback!'

'You've got to give credit to Jim, he really looks after his customers!'

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"Great idea of yours to offer their money back if not satisfied."

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

"I suppose that's what happens when 'putting customers first' comes second!"

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

"Our latest survey shows our customers basically want just three things: prompt service, and apology when mistakes occur and to be treated politely..."

"This conversation may be recorded for training purposes, depending on how well we confuse you."

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

"I'd recommend this."

"Will that be for here or to go?"

'Could you show me something that's more feature laden?'

"One final question... how did you hear about us/"

Sharings,,,formerly complaints,

"How am I supposed to know what I want to complain about before you've even said anything?"

The competition's customer vs our customer.

"Right, shall we delay the discussion on customer care again and look at the urgent issue of declining sales and plummeting profits."

"I can't take the job in customer relations. I hate the customers. How can I possibly deal with their relatives?"

"...And there has been a rapid decline in the number of complaints."

"You forgot the straw."

'Why on earth did you ask the customer if there was anything else you could do for him??!'

Ring Bell for Service.

"It won't be long - we're in the process of hiring a cook now."

'Waiter, your tip's getting cold.'

"Don't you DARE argue with me you ***(****) or I'll **** your ****."

'Sorry, sir, but we don't have a category for that.'

"It's fancy-schmantzy. I just wanted fancy."

"The customer is always right....the customer is ALWAYS right..."

'It's a flight simulator for passengers.'

"Fishing takes patience. I'll have more worms next week."

"And that is where we started to focus on customer care."

"Having an honest relationship with customers is admirable, but telling them that this sale is 'to get ride of all the crap we can't sell normally' might be a step too far!"

"We've implemented AI, now if we can develop artificial concern for our customers, we'll have it made."