Customer Satisfaction Seeker Gifts

"The algorithm we're using to identify our 'ideal' customer still needs a bit of work."

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

The bluebird of happiness couldn't make it. I'm the finch of eh, I can't complain.

The Hive, Inc. You mean I'll always be a worker, with no chance of advancement?

"Great idea of yours to offer their money back if not satisfied."

Find out that man's name and give him a rise.

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

Job complaints on road signs.

"I've had enough sweets for one day."

'I used to be an accountant but I found it too depressing.'

"We try to treat volunteers like regular members of staff, impossible workloads and no resources."

'I do the work of three men...how about giving one of us a decent salary?'

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

A new study found that people with low expectations are more content.

"I do count my blessings, but then I end up counting those of others who have more and better blessings, and that pisses me off."

"Er! So apart from the crushing workload, lack of support, weak and ineffective management, poor conditions and lack of flexibility was there anything in particular you didn’t like about working here?"

"I'm thinking about working on something really big, but for now I'm just happy keeping my plants alive."

'I've given up on looking for the bluebird of happiness. . . I'd settle for the chicken of contentment!'

'For a nominal sum I simply pass through your offices every day to show your employees how good they have it.'

Your Sculpture while you wait.

"...And there has been a rapid decline in the number of complaints."

"I always choose immediate gratification over vague rewards at some unspecified time in the future."

"Any new proposals?"

I enjoy my job, that's why I'm saving some for tomorrow.

'Sorry, sir, but we don't have a category for that.'

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations, became savvy consumers, the lived reasonably contented forever after'

'That's right, a person with 9 million is no happier than one with 8 million.'

"How do we improve our image with customers?"

"I love it when it all comes together... not like now of course."

"When this is all done, I'd like to try something a little different. Maybe work with children.

'If you want to praise our company, you're talking to Tommy Smith. If you want to complain, you're talking to Krfrzrk Mnkfplmkrz.'

"I'm greener, yes. But am I happier?"