Satirical Message Seeker Gifts

US Mail Bag and Empty Scale are equal weight.

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

Meet the Enemy

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."

Flyfishing for dummies.

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

Censors 'no' a good thing when they see it.

And here's the office floor plan. The numbers indicate the recommended sequence in which to step on people on your way to the top.

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

'Stick them up...'

"Somehow, they get exempted from a lot of laws."

Coronavirus Waves

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

The signing of Ben Franklin's non-disclosure agreement.

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

'I know how much you like holding hands, so I brought you a box of them..'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"Beware of the frog"

Quality Control

Message in a bottle being read by a fish

"Dammit all, haven't they heard of e-mail?"