Satirical Donation Lover Pillows

"I do give until it hurts, I just have a low pain tolerance."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Crap from the future.

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

Maybe there's something to this global warming after all.

'You don't have to be a boring bastard to work here but it helps.'

Minority Report

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

What do you say we team up to star in a sequel to "The Elephant Man" called "The Wolverine Boy"? !

"Maybe our beloved founder is trying to tell us something."

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

Honest Voting Stickers

The Monroe Doctrine

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

"Ah...summer...and umbrellas as far as you can see...it reminds me of England!"

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

Before disposing of useless information please make file copies.

Think tanks.

Evil Henchman Gets a Promotion.

"I was forced into early retirement. Is that even legal?"

Our large economy size packet hasn't been selling...it's too big to carry home.

Suggestions and Cheap Shots.

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

Only in America

National Liberty and Tax Codes.

'...and do you solemnly swear to update your facebook status to 'married'?'

The nonprofit dog fight.

"It's not so much a minivan as it is a hearse for our youth."

Police Lineup Escape

'For donating half my property to the poor, I'll get the 'Unselfish Millionaire of the Year' medal and a supporting receipt for my allowable expenses!'

"Welcome to Alabama. Pro-life at birth; not so much after that."

Spying Smart TV

Euro Collapse