Donation Droll Pillows

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

The nonprofit dog fight.

Maple tree donating syrup at a syrup drive clinic.

'Sorry - I only donate big.'

Peace on Earth, Goodwill to the less fortunate...

Vicar prays for money for church repairs.

'Nobody's leaving till I get the offering plate back!'

"I told him he was allowed one phone call. He's making a pledge to Channel 13."

The Andrews brothers had an ongoing competition of seeing who could donate a pint of blood the fastest.

"It's that Silicon Valley foundation - they want to know if we'll match our grandson's $100 million donation."

"I don't think you're getting the point of this exercise."

Honey badger do care.

"Okay, we've donated to the Food Bank, Feed the Hungry, Food for Life, Hunger Helpers, Starving World, Second Helpings. . . is anyone else getting hungry?"

'Dear, it's called a collection plate, not a tip jar.'

'Sorry - I've got strong views on Sunday Trading!'

The next step in human evolution was homophilanthropist.

'Good news, men, when we give to the poor now, it will qualify for federal matching funds.'

"And if anything goes wrong I'd like to donate my body to comedy."

'Can I choose which brick you name after me?'

'The problems with charities is that they are always needing donations.'

"No, there is not an annual cap on tithes."

Give To Tsunami's Victims.

"Funding for 'Nova' is provided by Merck and Lockheed, by the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, and by annual financial support from viewers like you."

'Have you seen my amplifier.'

"Done saving the world for today."

'It was all she had to offer, vicar.'

"The university is delighted with the endowment but is there any flexibility over calling it the 'who's the rich one now you toffee nosed bastards' wing?"

Don't think of it as tithing. Think of it as a cover charge.

Half of those who made no donations last year 'do not trust charities'.

"It's a large gift - a very large gift. So the question is: do we rename ourselves 'Aunt Tilly's Frozen Fish University'?"

Santa ringing bell with sign "Give now and avoid the holiday rush."

"Seems to start earlier every year."

"It's true we like our members to be regular givers, but irregular givers are certainly welcome."