Donation Detective Pillows

"Before I give you this donation I want to know what percent will go toward actual programs."

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'Crisis'

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

'I have no one to blame but myself, for now.'

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

"I suppose you're all wondering why I called this meeting today."

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

'This is our Greek debt, this is our Spanish debt, and this is our Portuguese debt...'

IRS Audit Section

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

Unsafe Drain Covers!

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

'Great, and I'll also need some mirrors.'

'I LOVE the smell of cooked books.'

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

The nonprofit dog fight.

Maple tree donating syrup at a syrup drive clinic.

'Sorry - I only donate big.'

'When we come back we'll talk to a man who made a fortune on Wall Street and almost got away with it.'

"We ran the numbers on how climate change will affect economic growth, but the numbers got so spooked they just kept running."

'Nothing this week †between your pay and your deductions, you broke even.'

'Nobody's leaving till I get the offering plate back!'

"We need to discuss your expense account."

Vicar prays for money for church repairs.

Financial Corruption

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract..."