Donation Detective Pillows

"Before I give you this donation I want to know what percent will go toward actual programs."

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'Crisis'

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

'I have no one to blame but myself, for now.'

"I suppose you're all wondering why I called this meeting today."

'This is our Greek debt, this is our Spanish debt, and this is our Portuguese debt...'

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

IRS Audit Section

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

Unsafe Drain Covers!

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

'Great, and I'll also need some mirrors.'

'I LOVE the smell of cooked books.'

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

The nonprofit dog fight.

'Sorry - I only donate big.'

Maple tree donating syrup at a syrup drive clinic.

Vicar prays for money for church repairs.

Financial Corruption

"You never saw a tax haven. Now look into this light.

'When we come back we'll talk to a man who made a fortune on Wall Street and almost got away with it.'

"Hi, I'm Bob Darrel. I'm here to perform the audit of your books. Don't mind the vultures. They follow me everywhere."

"We need to discuss your expense account."

'Nothing this week †between your pay and your deductions, you broke even.'

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract..."

"We ran the numbers on how climate change will affect economic growth, but the numbers got so spooked they just kept running."