Gift Detective Pillows

"Relax, Ms. Jones. I'm just X-raying this gift from my brother-in-law to see if I should re-gift it."

'Apparently when she said she didn't want ANYTHING for Christmas I made the mistake of not hearing her say 'I want a crocodile skin attache case'.'

X-Raying Christmas Presents

"Why do I get the feeling you have re-gifted this?"

King Kongs first christmas

CEO.

"Okay, lets see what we have here."

"I'm not going to do any work...cos it's my birthday!"

Who stole my candy?

On the fifth day, Neville opts for jewelry.

"Read the card! Read the card!"

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

'Wait until you see what you got me!'

"I'm not giving up the present till I see the party bag."

"Yes, we've accepted late deliveries before... but 75 years!!!"

"I see many gifts. They say do not open till Christmas."

'Where are you, Mrs. Harris? I have another delivery for you.'

"Honey - this is soooo special!"

'You're kidding? Your birthday wasn't REALLY six weeks ago was it, darling?'

"C'mon, get up...it's Christmas! Let's go! There's presents to open!"

"So, if you'll just bring me the 3-D printer, I can take it from there."

U. S. POST OFFICE, ''Fragile'? Yeah, yeah, pal -- they're all fragile.'

"Sorry I'm late. Argos was a nightmare."

"Hundreds of looted Christmas gifts. . . A missing reindeer. . . does that ring a bell, Mr. Rudolph?"

'You remembered our anniversary!'

"No matter what one says, a safe remains a good way to keep your money safe."

'You want to insure it? --Just exactly what are you implying, buster?'

"These are just the directions to the remote. The directions to the TV are much longer. Technology!"

Happy Birthday

I think the real question is, why do I feel I have to give out toys? Can't people like me just for me?

Suspense

"The new year is an excellent time to celebrate new beginnings by exchanging gifts with those you love."

'Yes, son, it's the thought that counts. But I've found it helps if it's an expensive thought.'

"Yes, I do all my shopping online. How did you know?"

Holiday Shopping