Christmas Detective Pillows

"Hundreds of looted Christmas gifts. . . A missing reindeer. . . does that ring a bell, Mr. Rudolph?"

'You're Steve from menswear. I read it on wikileaks.'

A boy acting suspiciously

Missing Easter Egg

Who stole my candy?

'Fancy coming on a man hunt?'

'You're an inspector now?'

'You're free to go. Another suspect matching the description of having big ears and a trunk has just been arrested for the circus stampede.'

Reason # 23 that doors don't make perfect seal against winter winds: Mischievous unemployed elves.

'When it comes to romance, Sherlock doesn't have a clue!'

"I'm sorry, Inspector Lestrade, but for reasons which I confess are sentimental, I feel I must, just this once, decline my services to Scotland Yard."

U. S. POST OFFICE, ''Fragile'? Yeah, yeah, pal -- they're all fragile.'

Serious Crime Squad, Light-Hearted Crime Squad, Happy As Larry Crime Squad.

'Did you see who pushed you?'

X-Raying Christmas Presents

"If Santa knows when you're sleeping and knows when you're awake...is he with the CIA?"

Undercover Santa

Golf Crime Scene.

"Relax, Ms. Jones. I'm just X-raying this gift from my brother-in-law to see if I should re-gift it."

"There are never sleigh tracks on our roof, or soot tracks on our carpet. Maybe you're just fake news?"

'I did some investigating. The guy is an actor.'

"Well, of course my DNA was found at the scene, it's Christmas Eve!"

'Dad, cut out the middle man, Santa and get me the toys from behind the wardrobe.'

"Snowman 1 to snowman 3... UPS delivery complete... FedEx approaching fast... Amazon not in sight... Over!"

'Yes, it was number 4, I'm positive,'

'Apparently when she said she didn't want ANYTHING for Christmas I made the mistake of not hearing her say 'I want a crocodile skin attache case'.'

'With all I've learned about psychology recently, establishing who's naughty and who's nice is not as simple as it used to be.'

"You could add 'Men who say "Ciao!" who are not even Italian or of Italian descent' to that list."

"There's no way in hell this is what it's all about."

Conservative Party

Trading Standards man entering 'Toys r sus'

Missing Santa

"Why do I get the feeling you have re-gifted this?"