Satirical Cartoons Admirer Pillows

Trump's Wall

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

UK border controls relaxed.

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

How about going easy on the carbs

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

Czarcasm

'Hi - I'm your company perk !'

"How long before the clinical trials are over?"

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

"A haand gel...!?"

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

Hot cross buns

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

"And yet methinks, Martha, that 'Ibsen with Rhythm' seems somehow to miss the point of Ibsen."

"We didn’t have enough in the budget to replace you with a real robot."

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

"Well, that was the weirdest tribute band I've ever seen."

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

"Sure, it's a break you can live with... but screw one more socket and you're toast!"

'That's what I like about you Roberts, you're not afraid to get out there and take a risk.'

'And remember team, if you can't join 'em, lick 'em!'

'During the heart-transplant, since it was your birthday, I went ahead and added two more inches, no charge.'

IRS: The country is broke, but your taxes cannot be construed as 'Charity to the Poor'.

"The only reason I'm firing you for your suggestion is because you signed yours."

''Tree of Knowledge,' eh? - Has it been fact-checked?'

'Day two at the...brain transplant institute.'